I almost almost forgot i had a livejournal blog!

in effect, i think i'll start posting entries... like maybe of jta travels. maybe everyday or every other day, or every week. i need to get used to writing again. haha! xx

anyway,i guess something that's long overdue are my new year's resolutions! it's feb already. my gad.

2009 New Resolutions:

1. Speak in one language. - At least per sentence. Fr. Dacanay says that in speaking 2 languages, we show that we have not fully understood each one (which i totally do). besides, it sounds so bad. UGH. when we had this marriage session thing for theo, this guy went up to the podium and asked a question. he said something like... "paano niyo Winowork...." ANG PANGIT PAKINGGAN. seriously. i don't want to be like that!!

2. Be nicer. - i realize that  i can be mean, moody and bitchy. hell, the rennes boys are scared of me. i think also i should include making my "normal" face ( my NR expression) softer. Mataray ata yung muka ko.

3. Eat healthier. - Hardest, but i think this'll do me good!

4. Meet new people / Be more outgoing. - i don't know why i'm adding this, but i guess it can't be helped. haha!

5. Do something different. - or try something new. i want a realized 2009. i want things to mean something, to make things count.

yay! first entry of 2009! i hope there will be more!
 

Here's the quote i was talking about in my last entry:

It's essentially about the laziness of man in understanding his own existence or meaning.

"Ang maaring mangyari ay: na hindi natin ginagamit ang ating kakayahang umunawa sa meron, at hindi pa natin napapansin. O, kung halus mapapansin na lamang natin, tinatanggihan nating pansinin. Maari pang mangyari na inaakala nating mas tinatablan tayo ng meron ngayon kaysa noong una, kahit na ang talagang nangyayari ay baliktad.

Napakasalimuot ng meron na nagpapakita sa atin. At napakatuso ng ating sariling katamaran; ng ating pag-urong sa ayaw nating harapin; ng ating pananbik na ayusin ang buhay sa ibig nating totoo sana, at hindi ayon sa talagang totoo."

SA sucks! i think our readings and lessons are just very RACIST, SEXIST and THIRD WORLD COUNTRYist.

BOO.

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"To whom much is given, much is expected."

the worst feeling in the world:

feeling invincible the whole day... literally on a high about everything.

and then accounting comes along and PFFT it goes.

>.<


can't wait for sembreak!

Somehow, i like to believe that things are really meant to be, that no matter how much you fight for something you really want, some things are really just out of your hands. some things are better that way. so what then becomes of our decisions? if things we're already planned out in an oh-so cosmic universe, why bother? why just not sit back and relax and just wait for things to come? And then i realized that I just can't. Sure, some people can accept whatever life throws at them, but I need to make decisions. I need to believe that i can significantly change my "future" with what i'm doing now. And that's what keeps me different from you.

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Last summer, i think i made a big booboo. I wished for something and it came true, and now, i don't know what to do, because now i want the exact opposite. >.<

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sometimes, my dreams come true. i think  i already wrote about this before, but i think it's happening with more precision now than ever ever before. just in case you don't know, these are the sleeping dreams ha. a couple of weeks ago, in my dream was this moment, just a few seconds, a flicker of just something, that i couldn't understand. and then, last friday, i understood what it was. in my dream, was this man i've never seen in my entire life, and he was talking numbers. we were in this dingy room and it was cold outside. he was talking about binomials and i said something out loud and that was it.

fast forward: here i am, two weeks later, in this dingy room; it was raining outside and this man was our new Qmt teacher. and then, there was this phrase he said, that was EXACTLY the same thing in my dream. exactly. and i said something out loud too. And that was it.

if dreaming about that moment means that i'd shift out, then i hate my dream-come-true abilities. why can't my other dreams come true? 

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i miss yappie. :'( feels like im alone in ateneo na. it's weird, her not being here especially since she probably knows more about me than anyone else.

i just love canada. it's the best place on earth... : )

i smell the fresh canadian air...it's the best.

the only thing that pollutes it is my mom's perfume which i hate, but have to stand for the next 2 weeks. haaaayyyy!!! :((  wanna throw the bottle away  and say that the crows yanked it from the bathroom window. it doesn't smell good in ANY country.

hmm.... it's like you're so busy and then one day. POOF! you're not. i've been doing homework until yesterday, and today.. i just have nothing to do. it's done. my planner's empty, save for birthdays and letters stuck between pages. My computer's desktop  is finally clean of last sem's papers.  i have NOTHING to do. i'm so used to cramming, to sleeping really late,and all that stuff. it's only been like 2 days and i think i'm having withdrawal syndrome already. :p

freshman year went by soooo fast. i'm feeling older already. i had so much fun, that is, in between the bitching, the secretly-hating, and the drama.

unforgettable stuff: the gimmicks, the corny jokes, the bondings, the "musicals", the cramming, the gossiping, the letters passed (i'm talking to you alexis,) the debuts, the bfast gatherings, the road trips, the hugs, the teasing, the millions of pictures, the math classes (mugaaaa!), my favorite blockmates, and so much more.

and so... now that i'm bored, i made my own slideshow. heeheehee! it's just a compilation of my favorite pics/moments of being a freshie. : )

http://www.rockyou.com/show_my_gallery.php?instanceid=62560391

Yesterday we watched the Vagina Monologues in the FBR building right across admu. everything was going okay until we rode in the elevator. the show was in the roofdeck.

i think we were 12, all cramped in one TINY elevator. (Think... ica conference room bathroom without the shower part) We went up to the second floor (okay.. safe and sound), but that took us like 2 mins. and then, the doors closed again, and i pressed D for deck AGAIN. i think i must have pushed it a hundred times because it felt like we weren't moving. Finally, we felt that we were slightly going up. and then we stopped AGAIN. i started to press any button in the damn elevator board, including the emergency bell button. well, it didn't work either.

i said, out loud. "Dude, we're screwed." And there was a moment of silence.

Tiff: We're gonna die!
Anjo: I think we are. Nooo!  *keeps pressing the emergency button*
guy in the back of the elevator: holy shit. this is the funniest thing ever.
Wy: don't you think it's funny that there's a picture of Jesus and Mother Mary in this elevator?
Pao: Dude, i'm too young to die!
Maikee: We're so going to die.
Me: Wouldn't be so cool if the next time the door opens, we'll get out in hell? like everything outside this stupid elevator are like flames and stuff?
Tiff: We're gonna die!
Anjo: Hey! why don't we all jump at the same time, maybe we'll go down a floor or something.
Me:  yeah, seriously? and crash in the basement, then we'd really die. How about someone climb up the elevator? didn't they do that in the movies or something?
Girl from the back: you know, i heard they had a problem with this elevator yesterday.
Pao: thanks for telling us when we're in the freaking elevator already.
Maikee:  oh oh! Check your phones! Maybe we can call for help!
   * everyone brings out their phones*
Pao: f**king sh*t! for all the times not to have signal!
Tiff: Gonna die!
another guy from the back': Pare! What a night!
Wy: We're not gonna die!
    *the elevator opens... TO A WALL.
Me: oh my god. that was a wall, right??? *still pressing the buttons*
girl from the back: this is not a good time to die.
* we hear people outside
everyone: HELp! Help!
Anjo: Satan?
Wy: Duh, Jesus!
Me: I think that this is the best -worst thing to happen in my life. this is so going on my list of unforgettable stuff.
wy: can't you just feel the oxygen depleting already?
Maikee: We're going to die.
    *Suddenly, two grubby hands try to open the elevator door, but closes again.
Me: i bet we're in the middle of two floors.

And then, more people's hands try to open the door. Yay! they succeed. turns out, i'm right. we're in between the second and the third floor of this ugly-ass bulding.
The top part / third floor is super eerie dark. and the second floor's a spa.
And then, one by one, we all jumped from the elevator too the second floor. it was really high, like as tall as a person. i think i was the only one who hesitated, because  i didn't want my head to be cut off if they police people suddenly won't be able to take the elevator doors slamming shut. i think someone pushed me from behind, so i jumped. heehee.

because we didn't want to ride another elevator, we ran up the stairs instead. and that was when i had the most surreal experience. We we're running up, and i saw benj, and papa and some other people i didn't know, and they we're looking at us. the funny thing is, i already had a dream about this. the exact same thing, down to the clothes of the people, the narrow staircase and the gates to the deck. everything. nothing was out of place. only, i woke up when i reached the top and said hi to papa.

that's why i believe that some of my dreams really really come true. it's so cool, yet so disturbing.

so there. that was my night last night. my near death experience, my brush with the end.

i think that i have superpowers. Wheeeee!!!! :P

really. that's four times now. my psychic powers really work. okay, not psychic really. most of the time i just get these feelings, instincts. they don't go away until, well, the event happens. four out of four.

i wish i could have these rush of feelings about the things i'm actually thinking of, and not just random stuff that come along.

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hmm...  why are there so many.... signs?

signs are supposed to mean something. but this time, i think they're just here to make me SUFFER. boo.

i need to keep alone, but seriously! every corner!

now, it's everyday, even weekends. okay. this has got to stop.

free-tasting was yummy, but it's all gone.

it's a river i see, but it's the ocean i want.

i need ways to relieve the non-boredom boredom.


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lit poems we had to make: ---it was a sabog day, hence sabog poems. :p but i find that we did some funny ones. i miss you guys <3

"before i thought i could fly like princess jasmine and aladin on the magic carpet.
 now i have a magic carpet with no aladin,
 so i ride airplanes instead."

"ice cream on a warm summer day,
 splatters on a concrete road
 chocolate grenade!"

"before i used to spend all day lying around when there was no school,
 now there's always school. boohoo.
 so i spend all day lying around in the library."

:))

i'm dying here. i really am.

my hands are shaking,  my heart is beating out of my chest. i can't breathe. i can't stand properly and i can't talk.

and it's all because of a grade.

great.

i've NEVER been so scared in my life.  you need to tell me that it's with you, that it's going to be okay. really soon. because i don't think i can survive the rest of the day.

help. dying. here.

i was talking to one of my blockmates yesterday about the ice melting in Greenland or Siberia or somewhere and there's now an ice lake there. We were talking about how scientists say that this is all because of global warming. (note to self: must watch An Inconvinient Truth) And then i told him that i read in yesterday's newspapers about how by 2080, poor countries like the Philippines and African countries, together with China and Australia, will experience water scarcity. We won't have enought water anymore! BOOO!

anyway, i said, i don't think we'll be alive by then... we'd be 98 years old, so who cares?

and then he said, well, yeah we won't be alive then, but the years leading up to that, we'd already be struggling!

my reply was, "man, i really need to go to the beach na and all that stuff."

his reply? he said..." i wanna start a family na! i don't want to miss out in all those things! i wanna do all those fun family stuff while we still have time."

i don't know why, but i was really struck by what he said! he's such a family guy pala! I guess i want a dad like that, the one who prioritizes family over everything else in the world (not that my dad isn't) because it seems so rare to find someone like that our age.  most boys think about well, girls and sports and cars. haha!

And my "beach-thing" sounded so childish next to his family thing!  i guess some people are more mature than others.

i was going to ask him some more, but the bell rang so we had to leave and the whole conversation was forgotten.

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i think maybe i'll start giving hugs to people who are sad. i know very well how a crappy day feels like.  FREE HUGS CAMPAIGN! if you need one, come to me. :p

seriously, i don't feel like myself today.

i'm being patapon and i hate it.

i think it's because the feeling has slowly been sinking in, that i might actually fail the math midterms. i mean, i worked so hard for it. really really hard. but when i got there, careless mistakes just came one after the other. it's just so sad. i didn't go to math class today because well, i didn't want to be seated there, looking at mr muga and studying math. the wounds are still fresh and i don't exactly want to cry in front of everyone. hehe.

i'm thinking i just need a couple of days and hopefully i'll be back to normal. hopefully.

the thing is, i've never really failed math before. not like this. i suddenly remembered ms. adajar this morning while alexis and i were in starbucks.

i remember in high 4, when i was nearly failing math and then ms. a gave me this math ptc slip. and i talked to her and i told her that i've never failed math before, and i've never gotten a ptc slip and that i didn't want it to start now. and so she struck a deal with me. she said that i had to pass the quiz we were going to have that day and then i wouldn't get the slip. and i studied real hard and i got a perfect.. after class, she called me and then told me that 'lahat naman ng bagay magagawa mo eh, kailangan mo lang maghirap. kailangan mo lang pa lang matakot eh' (with her trademark smirk and evil laugh) and then she tore the ptc slip into tiny pieces and threw it in the trash.

but now it seems that no matter how hard i work for it, this calc thing just isn't working. i'm studying really hard, harder than i've ever studied before and i'm already scared. what more do i need to do?

i'm really not myself today. i really want my old self back. i hate this sulking, moping kid who cuts math and stares off into space and voluntarily hangs out in the library.  i hate that starbucks can't cure my mini-math-depression anymore, when it used to work so well.

i need something to make me happy again. i need happy pills. i need company. i need my math powers back. i need inspiration. i need everything to be shiny and good again. i need to not care. i need to not worry so much. i need a week off. i need sleep. i need summer. i need clean fresh canadian air. i need happy thoughts again.

not being myself sucks big time.

for the times when ice cream is the only thing that makes a crappy day better! : )

Bleezer's Ice Cream by Jack Prelutsky

I am Ebenezer Bleezer,
I run BLEEZER'S ICE CREAM STORE,
there are flavors in my freezer
you have never seen before,
twenty-eight divine creations
too delicious to resist,
why not do yourself a favor,
try the flavors on my list:

COCOA MOCHA MACARONI
TAPIOCA SMOKED BALONEY
CHECKERBERRY CHEDDAR CHEW
CHICKEN CHERRY HONEYDEW
TUTTI-FRUTTI STEWED TOMATO
TUNA TACO BAKED POTATO
LOBSTER LITCHI LIMA BEAN
MOZZARELLA MANGOSTEEN
ALMOND HAM MERINGUE SALAMI
YAM ANCHOVY PRUNE PASTRAMI
SASSAFRAS SOUVLAKI HASH
SUKIYAKI SUCCOTASH
BUTTER BRICKLE PEPPER PICKLE
POMEGRANATE PUMPERNICKEL
PEACH PIMENTO PIZZA PLUM
PEANUT PUMPKIN BUBBLEGUM
BROCCOLI BANANA BLUSTER
CHOCOLATE CHOP SUEY CLUSTER
AVOCADO BRUSSELS SPROUT
PERIWINKLE SAUERKRAUT
COTTON CANDY CARROT CUSTARD
CAULIFLOWER COLA MUSTARD
ONION DUMPLING DOUBLE DIP
TURNIP TRUFFLE TRIPLE FLIP
GARLIC GUMBO GRAVY GUAVA
LENTIL LEMON LIVER LAVA
ORANGE OLIVE BAGEL BEET
WATERMELON WAFFLE WHEAT

I am Ebenezer Bleezer,
I run BLEEZER'S ICE CREAM STORE,
taste a flavor from my freezer,
you will surely ask for more.

While i know that 2006 has been good to me, i can only hope that 2007 will be better. When i look back on the year that has past, i can only sigh and think ok lang. There has to be something more for me. I am super determined to have a better year this year. but 2006 was happy and fun and there are somethings that that i'll never forget. i've grown up alot last year, ( i hope i did) learned to be more independent (a little) and have become more self-aware. i've met great people and appreciated the people who have been my oldest friends. so thanks  guys :p  when i look at the pictures i've taken in the past year, there are certainly more wrinkles and lines around my face, but i like to think that  that means i am wiser.  :)) i can't wait for 2007!

highlights of  2006:
-  last days of highschool
-  the grad ball
-  graduating from ICA (i miss it sometimes)
-  my debut
-  finally confirming to Ateneo
- going to ateneo
- meeting both blocks (in truth, i really didn't like them at first)
-  overnight at noey's before she left
- bfast meetings and dinners just to see how things were with everyone
- block bonding in tagaytay
- going to singapore during sembreak (whohooo!)
- watching the uaap
- bonding with new people like the blockies, and re-getting to know old friends like Alexis, Er, Jackie,  and Tiffy (my bestest blockmate)
- everyone coming home for christmas! (cousins and bfast lovers!)
-  cousin bonding at nuvo
-  post- chirstmas dinner in max brenner and overnight at my house

What a year!

Some goals/ Resolutions for me this year:
- Stop drinking coke! (that' s been my reslution since, like grade 6! hahaha!)
- okay then, drink coke light instead of coke.
- cut down on Starbucks! (saaaddd... they're full of love, but so fattening.)
- reach out to people more. (i need to look nicer and more approachable)
- study harder. need to be DL again!
- be more sensitive.
- pick a language! (this year, i hope i'll speak in one language at a time. Goodbye Conyoness!)
- be nicer to my family
- quit complaining about little things.
- learn how to drive for real.
- keep in touch with more old friends.  (i got that from you, pepi! heehee!)
- get thin! (bfast, let's pick a healthier place naman to eat. hahaha!)
- meet more people.
- say thank you more. (i'm going to start on this... just because it will make people's day.)

My cousin sent me an e-mail the other day about this guy named joaquin who's trying to find love in time for christmas. i think it's really cute, so check out his blog! http://www.datejoaquin.com

here's something he wrote about love. : )

"It’s a well-known fact that people reach a point in their lives where they are “awakened” to reality; it’s just a matter of when. Now some would easily translate this to the time they found out that Santa Clause was fake or that the Tooth Fairy was actually mom. Mine was when I found out that not all moms and dads stayed together. My turning point was when I saw that Love didn’t work out the way the books or the movies said it would. The prince didn’t always rescue the princess, and sometimes the evil witch did win. I realized that Love was actually just a word that people use, it wasn’t magical, it wasn’t special, it was just a word. I realized that some people didn’t even say it all that often. I realized that some people said it a little too often. Love had become a Hallmark card, a popcorn movie, a story and a song. Love was reduced to a commodity. But as the theory says: “for every action, there exists an equal and opposite reaction.” Instead of losing hope in the whole Love thing, I figured that Love must’ve had an unadulterated version of it before we people screwed things up. Love isn’t just Romeo and Juliet, Tom and Katie, Brad and Angelina, Dao Ming Tzu and Sunshine; I realized that if my picture was limited to Shakespeare, Neruda or even Wong Kar Wai, much less to the most recent love team, then my doubting “love” would turn out true. I didn’t want that to happen.

As much as I wanted my doubts about love to be true, I knew in my heart that there was much more to the word than the feelings you get when she looked back. Love was more than the text messages of sweet nothings. Love was more than holding hands or even kissing. Love was more than sex. Love was more than a trial and error effort to find a “match”. I knew that there was more to Love, but still I doubted. I was jaded by the experience of this so-called Love falling short. But I was out to prove my cynicism wrong. So I made I vow to myself not to drop the L word unless I lived up to its original definition.

Reading a lot of things, you more or less get a picture of what different people say about love. I read a lot, but no poet, novelist or even blogger pictured love clearer than this author: “No greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for a friend”. I was never one to spoonfeed so you’ll have to look for the author up yourself. Call me unreal or even preachy…but I couldn’t find a more perfect definition or picture of what Love really is. Then we go to my story. I realized that being in a relationship is no joke. Dealing with your own life, soul and heart is hard enough, bringing another heart into the picture is almost dangerous. Fun, but dangerous. Don’t get me wrong here, I’m all for taking risks, trying adventures and even making mistakes; but I’d want to do that on my own first before I bring another person into the picture. I’ve had my own slew of “things” (not flings), that always almost ended up in a relationship, but as I look back I’m glad it didn’t. Why? Because looking back, my motivation wasn’t Love, it was loins. I wasn’t out to love someone, I was out to satisfy myself. To fill my need. Like a parasite that clings on another to feed its own cravings. That wasn’t love, that was just selfish. I could’ve easily fallen into that trap for the sole reason that it was that…easy. Like a game to be played. Except, I almost didn’t realize that this “game” was played with hearts not tokens, with emotions, not toys. Love was, is and will never be a game. The reason for not being in a relationship is my choice, because I feel that the only time I can actually be in one is when I’m ready to say “I love you”. The only time I’ll be ready is when I’m willing to put my life on the line. The only time I’ll put my life on the line, is when I know that She’s the one for sure."

If you know me well enough, you'd know that I'm not a fan of change. I delay it as much as possible if I have the power, bitch about it when it does happen and always look back on what once was. The reason I absolutely detest change (especially if it's bad) is because I hate being left behind. In the same way, I find it hard to let the past go. Maybe that says something bad about me... but I don't really care.

Today, I am heartbroken.

Okay, this part is stupid but I know it's one of the things that I have to let go. There's a little mini village mall here near our village, the San Antonio Plaza, and it was recently renovated. They changed the management and employees and the whole Rustan's supermarket. It was closed for two weeks and remained so until a couple of days ago. So today, after school, I went.

What was once homey, warm and familiar is now, for me, so cold, calculating and impersonal. When I used to go there, I'd always get the feeling that this place was my second (or third, I guess) home. The people were familiar- they gave you a smile that kind of means they know you or they've seen you here a dozen times before. Now, they're evil spawns of the money-making business. >.< They used to have racks of goods that make you feel like you're in your own pantry. Now, they have stainless steel thingies that reach the ceiling. It's just sad. I used to want to hang around there all day, stay in starbucks and watch people pass by but now I just want to get out of there as much as possible and go home.

I still remember the day when I bought groceries and the cashier lady (who always seems to be MY cashier lady) tells me and my sister that they're closing down the market, changing the management and blah blah blah. She said sadly, that they were all going to be out of jobs in a few days. And i remember thinking 'how bad can it be?' I guess I have my answer.

All I can say is, thank God for the Starbucks that makes it a little bit of what it was before.

Yep, I'm still heartbroken. Yep, I hate THIS change.

TAGAYTAY HIGHLANDS
October 24-October 26,2006

block Q invades the highlands! i had the best time. love you guys! :D
    I won't ever ever forget...
- chris's cool car.
- watching the departed on the way there without knowing what's going on.
- the dicQnary.
- gayot, batak (said as BAH-TAK) and batok!
- kinkiness in the highest possible level.
- "taal volcano!"
- finding the block G Spot Happy Place.
- camwhoring (okay, mabye only me and annie)
- enzo and alfie trying to kill us all in the cable car ride.
- gangsttaaaa!
- i love mushroom burger forever!
- the plans to watch the sunrise but never waking up
- hotstuff benj.
- girly basketball (making three point shots is hard pala >.<)
- all that junk food.
- drinking enzo's booze.
- the happy spot bonding.
- enzo's jackass stunts. (scary scary)
- the block senti mood on the cliff.
- the strong-ass winds
- shooting stars and making wishes.
- everyone switching beds on the first night.
- bumming the whole 2nd day.
- swimming and seeing chris's (ahem) jewels.
- running in the rain (how stupid was i to forget my swim suit?!?)
- "po-ke po-ke"
- the stupid mind games.
- *pat pat*
- someone ruining the blanket formation.
- chris being "dirty"
- hi-tech pictionary and charades.
- the FAB FOUR with the FAB  FATHER! (we rock!)
- war of the world photos (soooo cool)
- fog (or...fagness)
- cracking stupid jokes in the dark
- benj's cool monster voice
- bonding in the fire-fireless fireplace
- no one saves alfie and chris :(
- bonding in the stinky couches.
- acting like fools (sorry bmh on vacation!)
- that my blockmates are all cowards (hahaha!)
- walking up the mountain (damn that hurt bad)
- alfie falling in the ditch (karmaaa!)
- running out  of hot chocolate >.<
- everyone squeezing into the girls' bedroom to sleep.
- everyone watching emily rose but falling asleep.
- someone stealing my pillows! (hmmph) but returning them (dapat lang!)
- foggy mornings where no one wanted to get up.
- accident (daw) ...does anyone get this? hahaha!
- dencio's.
- chilling in alabang.
- driver alex! ( left=right hahaha!)

where are we going next?!? :P

Here's the story. it's my first out of town trip EVER. it's going to be in tagaytay, for two nights and three days. and i was ALLOWED. freaking allowed! how cool is that?!? well, usually i don't even bother asking because, well... my parents are strict. Maybe it's because of chris or maybe because they've allowed my sisters to go out of town with their friends... but seriously! hahaha! :)) this is cool. really cool. so... now, my sister and i are planning a beach trip next week in quezon or zambales when my mom isn't here. wheeeee!!!!

*****************************************************************************************************

beyond that, nothing's really been happening.

random thoughts:

-i started hanging out with pepi more often. hahaha! lav ya peps! bond ulit tayo! although, we should  probably be talking about other things. :P

-i've been eating mcdo for lunch for the past 5 days. that's 5 double cheeseburgers, 5 cokes and 5 fries. i don't know what's wrong with me.

-i miss tang.

-i miss noey! wala lang. hahaha!

-of course i miss stacy and jen too. :P

-i'm really sorry i didn't tell presh about...

-i'm becoming ditzier by the minute here.  (just look at pepi's lj)

-i'm becoming more vain by the minute too.

-why do i feel like i'm not doing anything productive? like i'm failing!

-i really really want to be DL. >.<

-i really want to see a shooting star so that i can make a wish

-movies now suck. isabelle and i went to watch 'my first wedding' the other day and it just sucked. we walked out after 45 minutes.i cannot get over how crappy it was. boo. they need to start making better movies. 

-i hope i don't regret going to tagaytay.

-lately, i've just been ocean dreaming.

-i'm happy i got bangs.

**********************

okay, you know this can go on forever, so i'll just end it here. i swear i need a notebook to jot down my thoughts.

SERIOUSLY.... i'm really grateful for everything but...

i want my freaking family back. pffft.

and lying by omission is sooo not good.

sayang, i was starting to like you pa naman.

take a hint. just go away.